Expecting something from people is probably a root cause of the failure of any relationship. The moment we start expecting a person to behave in a particular way, or to say, or do something, it hurts when the expectations are not met. We may put in some effort, time in a relationship, and, by basic human nature or on the basis of equality.. expect the opposite person to do the same, if not more. But when it doesn't happen that way we start getting judgemental & begin to measure our contribution in the relationship. And after analysing when we realise that what we've given to the relationship is more than what we've got, "poof"! The bubble bursts.. that's the end of it all. Be it love, friendship, between parent & child, or professional relations, the moment we realise that the other person is not reciprocating as we'd like them to, it's the beginning of the end.
Expectations could be a range of actions to be done, words to be spoken & also mannerisms. An expectation may be as little as replying to an SMS, to as big as keeping one's promise. It could range from just greeting with a "Hey!" to doing the dishes yourself after mum's had a tired day at work.. Keeping in touch regularly to not talking at all.
Some people are vocal about what they feel. They just speak up if they expected something & it didn't happen that way.. With such people , if the people around them get the message then things can move smoothly. But if their high hopes are constantly not met, then their being vocal translates to constant nagging & criticising, which, due to lack og understanding or patience, spells doom for the relationship. (Though, to keep it going is entirely upto those involved.. & anyway that's a different aspect of relationships involving virtues like maturity, patience, ability to understand..)
Well... back to the discussion of "expectations".. there are another set of people who do not usually speak out about their feelings & thoughts. A handful of them would have liked to do so but feel that doing so might just ruin the relationship. They may not be meek or timid, but they just do not wish to spoil the pretty picture & let be things the way they are. In such a situation the other people may/may not realise that they aren't doing as expected & may take things for granted. And this leads to little frustrations and irritations just pent up somewhere in the head..& the eruption takes place at the wrong place & the wrong time...and the two people may just drift apart like icebergs in an ocean.
One can always try and let go of these minor irritations in order to save the big picture.. the cycle of Karma shall ensure that all the good Karma pays off. But what if these little ignorances on one's part maybe interpreted by others as the "doormat" attitude? That's even when you know you are not being one? Though this may be true to an extent when the other person takes you for granted & treats you like a doormat, literally.. What do you do in such a situation? Break away or stay put?
This needs to be seen..
- NP
